Happy Relationships

Happy relationships are possible—for everyone.

Even if you’ve been married for twenty years and your routine is boring and stressful; although your mom has always been a help-resistant complainer; and despite the fact that your dearest friend moved across the country — all of us can create lasting and joyful connections with the people we care about the most. Using simple tools drawn from the Buddhist tradition, you can cultivate appreciation, set wise expectations, and create meaningful and intimate bonds of mutual support and kindness with your partner, family, and friends.

That’s because our happiness isn’t dependent on everything in our lives being perfect. In fact, we can experience conflict, disagreement, job loss, grief, and boredom and still have appreciation, delight, and gratitude for everyone in our life. We can create happiness by improving the quality of our attention, the depth of our compassion, and our willingness to repair ruptures and let go of resentments.

Happy Relationships is designed for all of us who are sometimes challenged by our husbands, wives, kids, parents, and best friends. It’s for anyone in happy marriages and close-knit families who want to feel closer and more connected to the most important people in their lives. Happy Relationships is a relatable and useful guide with practical applications to help us stay attuned and cultivate understanding with our dearest people: an inconsiderate partner repeatedly ignoring our requests; repairing the rupture from a conflict with a sibling; celebrating a child’s success; or learning to communicate with a difficult parent. Each short chapter honestly describes—in three to four pages—a common shared experience, such as the stress of old resentments, the opportunity of celebrating together mindfully, the nightly routine of a child’s bedtime, spending time with old friends—and is followed by a brief practice—a meditation, exercise, or contemplation that readers can use to orient their beautiful qualities of love, kindness, and wisdom to communicate and act in ways that lead to joy. Happy Relationships readers can use these practices alone or with their loved one anytime—during the most mundane daily routine, to the excitement of a big gathering, through the sadness of loss.